Remember my name
by Kind of a big deal
Summary: A lone swordsman arrives at the gates of Hidden Rain. He's visiting an old friend, but maybe he just wants someone to think about him.


Two sentries are going about their business. They're sitting in a tower, sheltered from the rain by a simple sheet of metal that serves as a roof. It's rather thin, you can clearly hear the impact of the raindrops on the metal. It's a constant rhythm, they hardly notice it, after sitting in this spot for hours. Historically it has always been a wildly disputed border, but they don't know much about these things. What they do know, is how important it is to be cautious.

So they take pride in their work, even on these days, these never ending days of rain, in the weeping country.

Kisame has spotted them long before they have spotted him. Fortunately for them he's making a social call, lucky bastards. Every time he enters a new place, he wonders how he would go about attacking them, just like the old days. Old habits die hard. Habits forged in the glory days, when he rampaged alone through the war-torn countryside of the Land of Water, Mizo Nu Kuni in his native tongue. Alone, well not entirely. She's always there on his back.

Though he knows he is a widely feared missing nin now, he never felt like he betrayed his village, or what that once stood for and meant to him. He always served loyally, and even to this day he did so in the shadows. Serving loyally, with no regards to his own ambitions, it is the very ideal of shinobi. The best men he ever knew were all like that, they knew the world revolved around the men who sacrificed everything from the shadows. Somewhere along these thirty-odd years he picked up some wisdom, it seems.

His big dilemma, the most influential decision of his life, was choosing between this self-sacrifice, and conscience. He remembers it so well. If only these things were not mutually exclusive, everything would have been so different now.

As he walks towards the sentry tower, the rain running down his face, and the thrill of walking into unknown territory, he can't help but reminisce on those days. A village with this kind of humidity feels similar to what he left behind.

At a young age, being of noble birth because of his physical traits, he received Samehada, and they had a bit of a symbiotic relationship. He never really knew, but for some reason Samehada felt like it was female. Sharp edges, never really satisfied, and required more than a fair amount of maintenance. To receive this sword, he swore loyalty to the Mizukage that later turned out to be Tobi. A vow of servitude that would last a lifetime. It would be many years before he ever had a choice of his own.

Zabuza was the first. This was when Yagura had taken over as Mizukage. Zabuza was always too ambitious for his own good, he felt an opportunity, and like a kid he could not resist the temptation. He spouted this nonsense of sensing dismay with the people, saying that the times were ripe for a revolution. He said that it was within their grasp if they really wanted to.

Oh, the people were ready to revolt, that was evident, but ultimately Zabuza was only after his own gain. Nothing would really change even if they did follow him. Kisame turned down his offer to join his cause. All of the others did. They still had principles back then. A vow is a vow, after all.

Soon after Kisame had learned that Zabuza had escaped the country, officially a missing nin. He had left a message, saying he would come back to claim his land for himself. Certainly he was good, but not _that_ good. It's just the way nature works, no matter how much you resist, it's survival of the fittest, and Zabuza just wasn't the biggest beast of them all.

Rumours had come to his attention that the former Mizukage had started a shadow operation, called Akatsuki, the red dawn. Back then it was significantly different than what it had become at the height of it's infamy in recent years.

Even to him it remains a mystery, even though he was one of the first to join, that he knows of. In the back of his mind, Kisame wonders about what could have happened, as he approaches the sentry tower.

"Halt! Who goes there?" One of the guards asks him.

Kisame tips the typical hat forwards a little to cloak his face. It's a force of habit, of living on the run most of his entire life.

"Just a lowly swordsmen, if you value your limbs you shouldn't ask these kinds of questions, you know."

"Look at his outfit, it's the same as the angel!" One guard tells the other.

"That's right, send someone to go get her."

Kisame looks up to the men discussing the situation. So she calls herself an angel does she? Honestly he would never have guessed that.

Ah, women. Now there's some regrettable memories. Mei Terumi, they were all in love with her back then. Even Kisame had to admit, perhaps what they had was love, he was unfamiliar with that feeling, so he could not really place it. She made a plea to his emotional side when she asked him to help overthrow the Mizukage. That was a mistake on her part. Kisame imagined it must have left her quite bitter. She should have known he would pick self-sacrifice over conscience. That's just the way things were. It was a reality, a fact of life, that the shinobi would never betray their vow of servitude.

Yagura had taken the position of Mizukage, and he had become quite mad over the years, insanity caused by his internal fight with his tailed beast. It was true that the people were suffering and afraid, Zabuza was right about that at least. If he had waited just a few years he might have joined their cause, though he would not have fit in.

Perhaps this was all a plan of the Akatsuki's, it's hard to say how far their influence reached back then. Some had suspected that Yagura was nothing but a front, that his mind was controlled. Kisame suspected this also, but to him it never made much difference, it was not his place to do anything about that. When the proof finally came, the jounin were outraged and felt betrayed, and many revolted. There was a civil war. The era of the Bloody Mist would soon be over.

Kisame never felt he had to pick sides in this, he had vowed servitude to the Mizukage, so that was what he would do, no matter what. No amount of tears could ever convince him otherwise, Terumi knew it, but she tried anyway. Perhaps that's what love is all about? Hopelessly outnumbered, the old regime lost the civil war and Yagura was killed, the tailed beast inside him was set free.

Looking back, this may have been the plan all along, just to be able to catch the beast later in the wild. In secret it was a victory for Akatsuki, their most important goal had succeeded. Looking back it made sense that Tobi went to collect it himself.

Suddenly a power vacuum had presented Kisame with a situation he had never faced before. He had fought to defend his Mizukage and lost the war, so he had gone missing to avoid punishment, and most of his allies were dead. No orders to live by any more.

The new regime was weak and had not even provided a new Mizukage. The Daimyo sensed this weakness and took the opportunity to increase his power over the Hidden Mist. Kisame always knew that Mei Terumi would become Mizukage for the new regime. It was obvious, she was well-suited for the job and had led the revolution. But she would never be able to really change anything if the Daimyo was breathing down her neck. Her rule would have been quick and insignificant if the Daimyo was alive.

So young and foolish back then, Kisame had made that man's head his goal, to satisfy his own frustrations with an unknown future, and perhaps to do the Hidden Mist, and Terumi, one final favour. Even if they never knew why he did it, he knew he never really betrayed them.

Months of living like a beast, destroying villages, armies, evading hunter nin, until finally he fought his way to the Daimyo, and cut him to ribbons. It was a glorious orgy of violence, and it was this period that made him infamous throughout the known world.

Soon after, the leader of Akatsuki had contacted him. Literally a few seconds after killing the Daimyo. Kisame had not planned on leaving that castle alive, and hundreds of guards, many of them shinobi, were about to storm the castle. His life was now forfeit.

Out of thin air, the Akatsuki leader had appeared before him, saying he was pleasantly surprised at Kisame's choice of actions. The Akatsuki leader was of course the Mizukage he had vowed servitude to in his youth, so when he was offered a job, he did not consider anything other than accepting it.

And what a job it turned out to be. He was told that this young kid from Konoha had murdered his entire family, and would one day even turn against Akatsuki. Kisame was to partner up with him officially in Akatsuki, and meanwhile prohibiting him from making plans to destroy Akatsuki from the inside.

Itachi and himself had a very multi layered relationship. Cordial on the surface, both professionals they knew it was counter productive not to get along, so it worked out. But underneath that, both of them knew they were sleeping with one eye open. Itachi was apprehensive and subtle by nature, his exact opposite, that's probably why they worked well together.

Someone cloaked approaches Kisame at the gate, hands on her hips, he sees by the way she carries herself that she is definitely a woman.

"Hoshigaki Kisame." Stated flatly, with a hint of apprehension in her voice.

"Lady Konan, or should I say... angel? Heh heh."

"I'm sure you find it very funny. Are you ordered to kill me, now that I have left Akatsuki? Is that why you are here?"

A grin, showing some of his teeth, slowly forms on Kisame's face. The challenge of fighting a former Akatsuki is appealing, but that's not why he's here.

"No, don't worry. I'm actually here to pay my respects to Leader." Kisame knew all along he wasn't the real leader of Akatsuki, as he was not the man that had recruited him, but he still took his orders from the man they called Leader, he was his superior for many years.

"You'll forgive me if I find that a little hard to believe, right? Though of course you were always big on formalities." She says as she starts walking into the village, motioning Kisame to follow her.

"I have done many wrongs in my life, but I never lied to a woman, you have my word."

"You know, that doesn't surprise me about you at all."

They walk through the highly urban streets of the Hidden Rain, pipes, neon lights, banners, antennae protruding from every conceivable angle of the higher buildings, it's a regular jungle of man-made constructions. They walk through many narrow passageways, a few tunnels, nothing Kisame sees indicates any kind of logical layout of the city. It could just as easily be a maze. They do have a very good drainage system, Kisame notes, it would take considerable effort to flood this place.

Finally, they arrive at a small cemetery on a hill, squeezed in between two buildings and a view of the city. There's only a few graves, but a quick glance on the stones tells him this is an important site. It's a quiet place, the buildings are abandoned and only the light buzzing from defective street lights breaks the monotony of the sounds of rain.

"Hanzou the Salamander..." He said as he passes a small grave. It looks poorly maintained, which is strange for such an iconic name. Already weathered down from the incessant rain, even though he was killed just a few years ago. Perhaps the stone was commissioned years before his death? Kisame always did want to fight him, he had heard this man was unsurpassed, especially in water. In many ways the perfect opponent to test his limits.

Konan leads him to two graves at the end of the cemetery. There's a small origami flower on both the graves.

"Yahiko... and Nagato.." Kisame reads out loud. "Which one was the leader?"

"In a sense they both were, so we had them buried here, this cemetery is where the Hidden Rain buries the village leaders." Konan says, standing a few steps behind Kisame.

"They both were?" He says, taking off his hat, and scratching the back of his head. The rain on his face hardly matters, and taking off his hat is still a sign of respect.

"Yes, the face you knew and the dream was Yahiko's, and it was Nagato who made it all happen." Konan tells him, not revealing the exact details.

Kisame stares at the graves for a little while. They have a nice view of the city, the sun reflects on the wet roofs of the buildings, it's as if the whole city is made as a shrine for these two graves.

"In their hearts, all they really wanted was peace, isn't it?" Kisame concludes from the scene, being uncharacteristically solemn.

Slightly taken aback by this, Konan answers only tentatively, but with a small smile on her face.

"Yes, they were dreamers, the both of them. I'll make sure they'll be remembered fondly."

Kisame slowly puts down his hat in between the graves. He didn't really bring anything with him, so it would have to do as a gift.

"I knew a few guys like that, who really only wanted peace in the end." He says, still crouching down in front of the grave.

"Itachi?"

"Yes, he was one of them, I think. He never really told me his real motivations, but I could tell." He says, and gets up and takes one last look. "Maybe I made a mistake..."

"About Itachi?" Konan says as she begins to walk back, slowly. Kisame follows in the same pace.

"No, even if I wanted to, his fate was his alone. He wanted it that way, I think."

"Then what was your mistake?" Konan asks, slowly becoming more at ease with the giant shinobi next to her.

"Coming here. I'm reminded of past choices I made."

He pauses for a few moments, and decides to throw her a bone and tell her a bit more.

"You see, a long time ago, I picked my loyalty over a moral choice. Maybe I didn't want to think about complicated things so I took the easy way. Or it's the result of years of upbringing and I never had a chance to choose for myself. I'm not really much of a philosopher, so it's unlikely I'll ever understand that anyway."

Konan looks at him as they are walking. When he notices, he continues his talk.

"I lived my whole life like that, and I'm about to embark on yet another mission, but in the back of head something is nagging me, telling me that maybe I'm a relic of the past. Shinobi nowadays are loyal to the people they come from, not the leaders . Just like these guys Yahiko and Nagato, I can see how they did what they did to bring peace for their people, instead of what they were told to do by someone else. And someone will remember them when they're gone."

"Do you have regrets?"

"No, I don't think I do. It's just that, maybe I'm missing out on knowing what that's like."

"It's not too late, you know? If you really wanted to, you could vindicate yourself here. I'm the leader now, but I'm not too strong myself. My people might need a guardian in the future. Someone strong. Someone... like you, perhaps."

They have arrived at the gates again, and both stop there for a few moments. He adjusts the belt that holds his sword, a small routine to gear up for the road ahead.

"You think so? Do you think a guy like me could do well in a place like this?"

"Yes, I think so." She tells him, half in a whisper, looking at him in a certain way he could have described as tenderly, had he known what that was to begin with.

He reaches out to her face, and softly touches her cheek with the side of his thumb. When they were both in Akatsuki, she was cold and hard, but out here in her village, it's as if she is slowly changing into another person.

"You know I'm a fool, always looking for trouble. But I like the idea in a positive way, for a change. I'll think about it."

"Where are you off to now? Another tailed beast?" At the mention of his mission, he feels his sword coming to life again. She's getting more and more impatient lately.

"Yes, the eight tails, this time. Akatsuki will soon be done with their goals."

He begins to walk out the gate. Samehada already picked up a trail, before he arrived at Hidden Rain, so he knows where to go. A few paces out the gates he stops and looks back.

He decides it might not be so bad to have a conscience. He'll work on that when he gets back.

* * *

I tried to tie up a lot of loose ends in this story, but obviously there's some small liberties I took to connect events. Recreating what happened in the Mist was part of the idea, but working on the theme of Kisame wanting people to remember his name, that was the real goal. This is secretly the theme of his character I believe, when you look at the manga closely.

He's happy to find out people know who he is when first introduced in part 1, and in part 2 he becomes frustrated at Gai who doesn't know who he is. Then we hear that the people in the Hidden mist fear him, he still has a reputation, and finally when he fights Killer Bee, he says explicitly, 'remember my name'. I thought this would be a good angle to give his character a softer side, where he's actually a little insecure about how people think of him.

It really makes sense if you think about it, beastly appearance, and only a bad reputation, and he never really had an identity of his own, since he served Madara almost his entire life.


End file.
